[The following column answered by me was
published in the Deccan Herald Education supplement of May 5, 2016]
Dear Madam,
Is there a cure for procrastination?
Whenever I feel like doing something, I put it off for the next day. I feel
guilty doing this because I believe I am too lazy at times. What can I do to
motivate myself every day?
Anonymous
Dear procrastinator,
It
is great that you are able to recognize the fact that you are a procrastinator.
Self-awareness is the first step towards working on any kind of self-growth. It
will be helpful for you to understand your reasons for procrastination — are
you finding the job unpleasant and therefore don’t have any motivation to do
it, are you finding it difficult and overwhelming, are you just disorganized
and therefore not being able to get it done, or are you unable to take
decisions and therefore need help with your decision-making skills? Or are you
a perfectionist who feels that you won’t be able to do the job ‘perfectly’ and
so cannot get yourself to doing it?
Some ways to find your own
motivation are to break up big and overwhelming tasks into small-sized ‘bites’
that are manageable and increase your chances of achieving them. Often peer
pressure works and so, if you inform someone of your goals for the day, the
pressure of not having to tell them that you have not achieved it works as a
motivation for you to complete the task. Also, try and understand the
implications (often negative) of not doing the task. If you find that you are
procrastinating because of the unpleasantness of the task, consider the
possibility of it not being as unpleasant as you thought it might be, and
remember the unpleasant consequences of actually not doing the task.
If you are disorganized
and that is the reason behind your procrastination, make a to-do list which
forces you to keep tract of even unpleasant and overwhelming tasks. It also helps
you prioritize the urgent and important tasks. Besides, having a visual list
helps as an important visual reminder, and also helps gain a sense of
satisfaction as you tick-off items from the list.
If you are procrastinating
because you are a perfectionist, then you must remember that getting something
done even with 90% accuracy but on time, is much better than getting it done
with 100% accuracy but several weeks late! Quite like getting 90% in an exam,
but getting it over with, is far more important than striving for 100% and not
appearing for it because you are not sure of getting 100%.
Dear
Madam,
I am a young girl who is out to
establish a name in the world. Often, I am confused between money and
happiness. What should I work towards? Being content in whatever money I have
or work to earn more and then be happy? Can’t I do both?
A confused girl
Dear confused girl,
It
is often said that the pursuit of happiness is obligatory for human beings. The
ultimate objective of everything you do, feel and think is to gain happiness.
With that being the ultimate reality, the pursuit of money is not going to make
you feel satisfied if it does not bring happiness with it.
However, gaining happiness
will make you feel satisfied even if you don’t have mountains of money. The
mere pursuit of money is a tricky business, because no amount of it is ever
‘enough’. Unless you are mindful of it, having ‘enough’ money can turn out to
be an ever-moving goal post — an illusory mirage which keeps moving further
out.
So,
work towards happiness – which means engaging with something you are good at
and passionate about, and the rest will follow. Hope this helps. All the best.
Dear
Madam,
I am a 3rd year medical student in
Bengaluru and I took 5 attempts to clear my first year. When I came to my
second year, I decided not to commit the same mistake. However, I could not,
although I tried my best. As a result, I am experiencing a lot of stress.
Kindly guide me to overcome it.
Muthu Maran
Dear Muthu,
Stress
is caused not by events, but by our interpretation of events. You may not have
cleared your exams, and may have made the same mistakes, but that does not mean
that you will never be able to clear your exams, or that you are a failure. It
just means that you failed in this attempt and you can make another attempt.
Making a mistake, or failing at something, is not a crime. But it is important
to learn from one’s mistakes — identify what went wrong, and what you need to
change.
Stress is caused by a
feeling of lack of control of the environment. It is important to accept that
we cannot control the environment. The only thing we can control is ourselves,
our interpretation of events, and how much we allow those events to distress us.
Hope this helps. You could
work with a counsellor to help you deal with this aspect in greater depth. All
the best.
Dear
Madam,
I am a Civil Services aspirant with
good academic records. I am a bit passive and introvert in nature, because of
which some of my friends and relatives demotivate me. Does that mean I have to
change my career plans and look into different aspects? Kindly let me know as
to how I can overcome this and prove them wrong.
A Civil Services aspirant
Dear Civil Services
aspirant,
Being
an introvert is not necessarily a weakness. Everyone is different, and
everyone’s needs for social engagement are different. Having said that, you
need to believe in yourself and your abilities.
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