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Thursday, 28 June 2012

Ask Our Counsellor

[The following column appeared in the Deccan Herald Education supplement on June 26, 2012]

Dear Madam,

I’m a Class 12 student who has opted for the Science stream (PCMB). Due to some personal problems, I have discontinued my studies this year and plan on continuing it next year. Everyone feels I am lucky to have received another shot at the Boards as well as the competitive exams, but somehow I don’t have that confidence in myself. In fact, I am fast losing my confidence. How can I regain it?

Dear XYZ,

I am glad you are seeing this forced break as an opportunity that you have got, and not something to be sad about. That itself is a very positive sign. But you must be careful because this is a slippery slope. Right now when your peers are doing the exams they think you are lucky you don’t have to do them. Next year when they would have finished the exams and you will have to do them, you will feel they are lucky. The grass always appears to be greener on the other side, and you must be careful to reach your own
conclusion about it.

Don’t worry about the expectations of others. This is about your expectations from yourself. You need to do well because you want to, and because of what it will mean to you. Not because of what others expect of you. They are not going to be the beneficiaries of your hard work. You are going to be the beneficiary. So whatever you do, or do not do, you do for your own satisfaction and benefit. So believe in yourself. Whether you meet others expectations or not, is not important. You must exceed your own expectations because ultimately, that is what will give you the greatest satisfaction. All the best.

Dear Madam,

I am currently pursuing a graduate degree, a BCA course. I am in the first year. I will be giving my semester exams soon. When I sit down to study, my mind is not focused on the task that is in front of me. No matter how much I try, I can’t bring myself to focus on the subject. I had the same problem during the first semester but I did manage to score 60 per cent. But I’m not satisfied with these marks. I want to score better. Can you help me out by suggesting ways to improve my preparation process? Should I meet an educational counsellor?

Dear Ahmed,

Your exams will be over by the time this response gets published. However, I am still responding because you will probably face the same issue in the future as well. I am not sure what you mean by an educational counsellor? If you are talking about career counsellors, then this paper carries the column of a career counsellor as well so you can address your queries to that column.

However, I feel you need to spend sometime analysing what is going on in your mind. When it wonders where does it go? Is it with your friends, wondering what they are doing? Or is it dreaming about the future? Or maybe brooding about the past? Or is it just generally stressed and worried about something?

Remember your mind is entirely within your control. And, it is probably the only thing that is truly within your control. You just need to know how to tame it. For that you may need the help of an emotional counsellor. All the best.


  1. Dear Madam,
    Can I post my queries directly on this blog?
    - Student

    1. No, I don't take questions directly on this blog