[The following questions answered by me was published in the Deccan Herald Education pages on May 7, 2015]
Dear Madam,
I have just completed my class XII Board exams (CBSE) and am now preparing for AIPMT 2015. My aim is to get into AFMC, Pune and join the Armed Forces as a doctor. The problem is that I've completely lost interest in studies. It was never like this before. I loved studying, especially Science, and I used to get very good marks, as well. But now studies have become a tedious task. And naturally, marks have suffered. I’ve just not been able to perform well this year. Neither have I performed well in the Boards. My confidence has crashed and no matter how much I try, I’m not able to lift myself up from the mess that I’m in. I've been a very lonely person since class VI and no matter how much I try, I've never been able to make friends.
Good marks were the only reason I was able to keep my head high, but now, since I've lost that also, I feel very dark, dead and depressed. I feel like I’m trapped and I’m just not able to concentrate on my studies. I’m with my books all the time but knowledge is farther than ever. And somehow in the long run, I've developed the habit of procrastinating.
I've never achieved the goals I set for a single day because of this habit. No matter how much I try, I'm not able to get that old zeal and fire for studies. I really want to become a doctor (a surgeon) and serve my country. But my goal now seems to be very distant. Please help me.
A student
Dear student
Thank you for reaching out for help, and there are many things in your letter that I feel you may need help with. You have talked about your loneliness since the sixth standard and how your sense of worth was based on your marks. That is what gave you the confidence to face the world. And now you are feeling that you are losing that and therefore your future is appearing dark and bleak. I am not sure which city you live in, but if you have access to a counsellor, I think you will be able to derive a lot of benefit – in building your self-esteem, and in understanding your fears and distractions, and therefore learning to focus. You will also get help in addressing your issue of loneliness. Alternatively, you can call the free counselling helpline for young adults set up by Parivarthan. For this you can call the number 080 65333323 and a counsellor at the other end will support you.
My analysis is that because your whole sense of self-worth is based on your marks, as the time for the big tests is approaching, you are getting increasingly stressed and anxious about it, which is preventing you from focusing on your task at hand. Helping you understand your fears and anxieties will go a long way in reducing your stress around these exams. I have written extensively on this topic in my blog, and you may also want to reference some of the articles there – See a Lion in the Mirror (http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.in/2010/09/see-lion-in-mirror.html ); Putting Exams in Perspective (http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.in/2010/09/putting-exams-in-perspective.html ); It’s not the end of the road (http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.in/2010/09/its-not-end-of-road.html ).
Dear Madam
I am studying in class XI with a combination of PCMB. I got an 8.4 CGPA in the class X. I always get distracted when I study or listen to teachers either in class or tuition, so I am not able to concentrate on my studies. As I will be entering class XII soon and this year will be very crucial for me, I need to work hard and get good marks. Please help me. Thank you.
Jayanth
Dear Jayanth
I would like you to spend some time to understand your motivation for studying and getting good marks. Is it something that you ‘need’ to do because of societal and parental pressure, or is it something that you ‘want’ to do because of your own inner drive to do well and excel in whatever you are attempting. Till such time that you do it, because it is an external need and expectation from you, you are doing it to keep other people happy. And that is a big pressure, because no matter what you do, other people may still not be happy. However, if it is because of your own internal motivation, then you do it because of the joy and satisfaction it gives you and that does not put any external pressure on you. So try and understand why you say you ‘need’ to get good marks, and how you can move from feeling that external pressure to a state where you would ‘like’ to get good marks for your own satisfaction. This shift in perspective will reduce the negative effects of stress that are not allowing you to focus, and will allow you to benefit from the positive effects of having some stress and pressure that motivates you to work hard and give it your best shot.
All the best.
Dear Madam
I secured 89.17% in my I PUC. I joined a nearby tutorial for II PUC. I would like to pursue engineering and then do an MBA in an IIM or any other reputed university. I am clear about my career, but I am quite afraid about KCET which I am going to write in April 2016. Since I am not going to CET coaching, I am a bit tense about whether I will be able to do it. I also wanted to know if an engineering college and its reputation matters in any way for my career? My mom says all colleges are the same. Is it true? My home, college and tuition place are quite far. Since my tutorials start at 6 am, I have to get up at 4 am. After the tutorials get over at 8 am, I leave for college and have something to eat. My college finishes at 4 pm and I return home with my sister by 6 pm. I am scared of the lack of time to prepare for my CET. Is a crash course enough for CET? Please guide me. I am really confused and worried. Sorry for such a long list of queries.
Aishwarya S Rao
Dear Aishwarya
I can sense your shortage of time, and how tiring such a long day must be for you. I cannot give you any input on which course is good and what is enough. But I do know that it is important to be able to have some time to de-stress in the day, otherwise all your effort may be counter-productive. It may be more helpful for you to do some amount of self-study and spend less time commuting and getting tired. Think about it.
As for which college is good and whether all colleges are the same, it is true that some of the more prestigious college open better doors for you in the job market. However, having said that, it is important to remember three things:
1. Your success in your career will not depend only on your marks in these, and other, exams. It will depend on your other, more important, soft skills like communication skills, ability to be part of a team, ability to lead a team, ability to think creatively and out of the box, ability to problem-solve, ability to handle pressure and so on.
2. A particular college may open some doors for you, but being successful at those opportunities that come up,and making the most of them is in your hands and has very little to do with the marks in your exams.
3. If one door closes, another one will open – only you have to allow yourself to see it.
Hope this helps.
All the best
Dear Madam,
I completed my BCom in 2009 and after that I took up the CA course. After much struggle I completed my IPCC and I’m now in the final course. But in the Final too, I am struggling to complete. After six attempts also, I couldn't pass the CA Final exam and now I have my lost patience to complete CA.
After analyzing why I am not able to pass, I realized that I was most interested in Computer Science Engineering. But due to some unavoidable situations, and a few people saying that engineering is more competitive and has less job opportunities, they made me take up CA.
Now I’m really confused about my future. I’m planning to switch over to CS engineering from CA. My question is whether there is any scope to switch over to software engineering and will I be successful after taking up engineering. And what courses should I complete to become a successful professional, and how much time will it take to do so.
I don’t know today’s scope in computer science, and I request you to provide me the trend in computer science in upcoming years. I’m eagerly waiting for your valuable suggestions.
Vijay Kumar
Dear Vijay Kumar
I am not a career counsellor and so will not be able to give you any inputs on which course is good, how long it will take, and what are the prospects after it. I do, however, feel that after spending six years doing CA, if you want to change your field to engineering now, you will have to start from the very beginning, and you must be comfortable with the fact that all your colleagues and class mates will be 6 years younger than you. Both these situations can be very challenging, unless you are prepared for them. Also, how have you ascertained that your interest is actually computer science engineering, and how are you going to overcome the hurdles that field will throw up. I am not even sure you can go down that path with a Commerce background.
Given that you are in the last mile of your CA, you may want to persist and at least finish that before going another path. All your options will still be open after you finish that. Finishing it will give you a sense of satisfaction that you have not wasted six years in terms of qualifications.
Before changing, it may be wise for you to spend some time on self-reflection and understanding yourself better – what are your strengths and weaknesses, what are the opportunities available to you, and what are the roadblocks you may encounter? It is not that changing the line of study is a problem, but in your case you may need to do a cost-benefit analysis and see if you are better off spending that time studying engineering, or engaging in some entrepreneurial activities. There are many success stories of entrepreneurs who do not have degrees to back them.
Good luck!
I have just completed my class XII Board exams (CBSE) and am now preparing for AIPMT 2015. My aim is to get into AFMC, Pune and join the Armed Forces as a doctor. The problem is that I've completely lost interest in studies. It was never like this before. I loved studying, especially Science, and I used to get very good marks, as well. But now studies have become a tedious task. And naturally, marks have suffered. I’ve just not been able to perform well this year. Neither have I performed well in the Boards. My confidence has crashed and no matter how much I try, I’m not able to lift myself up from the mess that I’m in. I've been a very lonely person since class VI and no matter how much I try, I've never been able to make friends.
Good marks were the only reason I was able to keep my head high, but now, since I've lost that also, I feel very dark, dead and depressed. I feel like I’m trapped and I’m just not able to concentrate on my studies. I’m with my books all the time but knowledge is farther than ever. And somehow in the long run, I've developed the habit of procrastinating.
I've never achieved the goals I set for a single day because of this habit. No matter how much I try, I'm not able to get that old zeal and fire for studies. I really want to become a doctor (a surgeon) and serve my country. But my goal now seems to be very distant. Please help me.
A student
Dear student
Thank you for reaching out for help, and there are many things in your letter that I feel you may need help with. You have talked about your loneliness since the sixth standard and how your sense of worth was based on your marks. That is what gave you the confidence to face the world. And now you are feeling that you are losing that and therefore your future is appearing dark and bleak. I am not sure which city you live in, but if you have access to a counsellor, I think you will be able to derive a lot of benefit – in building your self-esteem, and in understanding your fears and distractions, and therefore learning to focus. You will also get help in addressing your issue of loneliness. Alternatively, you can call the free counselling helpline for young adults set up by Parivarthan. For this you can call the number 080 65333323 and a counsellor at the other end will support you.
My analysis is that because your whole sense of self-worth is based on your marks, as the time for the big tests is approaching, you are getting increasingly stressed and anxious about it, which is preventing you from focusing on your task at hand. Helping you understand your fears and anxieties will go a long way in reducing your stress around these exams. I have written extensively on this topic in my blog, and you may also want to reference some of the articles there – See a Lion in the Mirror (http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.in/2010/09/see-lion-in-mirror.html ); Putting Exams in Perspective (http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.in/2010/09/putting-exams-in-perspective.html ); It’s not the end of the road (http://personalorbitchange.blogspot.in/2010/09/its-not-end-of-road.html ).
Dear Madam
I am studying in class XI with a combination of PCMB. I got an 8.4 CGPA in the class X. I always get distracted when I study or listen to teachers either in class or tuition, so I am not able to concentrate on my studies. As I will be entering class XII soon and this year will be very crucial for me, I need to work hard and get good marks. Please help me. Thank you.
Jayanth
Dear Jayanth
I would like you to spend some time to understand your motivation for studying and getting good marks. Is it something that you ‘need’ to do because of societal and parental pressure, or is it something that you ‘want’ to do because of your own inner drive to do well and excel in whatever you are attempting. Till such time that you do it, because it is an external need and expectation from you, you are doing it to keep other people happy. And that is a big pressure, because no matter what you do, other people may still not be happy. However, if it is because of your own internal motivation, then you do it because of the joy and satisfaction it gives you and that does not put any external pressure on you. So try and understand why you say you ‘need’ to get good marks, and how you can move from feeling that external pressure to a state where you would ‘like’ to get good marks for your own satisfaction. This shift in perspective will reduce the negative effects of stress that are not allowing you to focus, and will allow you to benefit from the positive effects of having some stress and pressure that motivates you to work hard and give it your best shot.
All the best.
Dear Madam
I secured 89.17% in my I PUC. I joined a nearby tutorial for II PUC. I would like to pursue engineering and then do an MBA in an IIM or any other reputed university. I am clear about my career, but I am quite afraid about KCET which I am going to write in April 2016. Since I am not going to CET coaching, I am a bit tense about whether I will be able to do it. I also wanted to know if an engineering college and its reputation matters in any way for my career? My mom says all colleges are the same. Is it true? My home, college and tuition place are quite far. Since my tutorials start at 6 am, I have to get up at 4 am. After the tutorials get over at 8 am, I leave for college and have something to eat. My college finishes at 4 pm and I return home with my sister by 6 pm. I am scared of the lack of time to prepare for my CET. Is a crash course enough for CET? Please guide me. I am really confused and worried. Sorry for such a long list of queries.
Aishwarya S Rao
Dear Aishwarya
I can sense your shortage of time, and how tiring such a long day must be for you. I cannot give you any input on which course is good and what is enough. But I do know that it is important to be able to have some time to de-stress in the day, otherwise all your effort may be counter-productive. It may be more helpful for you to do some amount of self-study and spend less time commuting and getting tired. Think about it.
As for which college is good and whether all colleges are the same, it is true that some of the more prestigious college open better doors for you in the job market. However, having said that, it is important to remember three things:
1. Your success in your career will not depend only on your marks in these, and other, exams. It will depend on your other, more important, soft skills like communication skills, ability to be part of a team, ability to lead a team, ability to think creatively and out of the box, ability to problem-solve, ability to handle pressure and so on.
2. A particular college may open some doors for you, but being successful at those opportunities that come up,and making the most of them is in your hands and has very little to do with the marks in your exams.
3. If one door closes, another one will open – only you have to allow yourself to see it.
Hope this helps.
All the best
Dear Madam,
I completed my BCom in 2009 and after that I took up the CA course. After much struggle I completed my IPCC and I’m now in the final course. But in the Final too, I am struggling to complete. After six attempts also, I couldn't pass the CA Final exam and now I have my lost patience to complete CA.
After analyzing why I am not able to pass, I realized that I was most interested in Computer Science Engineering. But due to some unavoidable situations, and a few people saying that engineering is more competitive and has less job opportunities, they made me take up CA.
Now I’m really confused about my future. I’m planning to switch over to CS engineering from CA. My question is whether there is any scope to switch over to software engineering and will I be successful after taking up engineering. And what courses should I complete to become a successful professional, and how much time will it take to do so.
I don’t know today’s scope in computer science, and I request you to provide me the trend in computer science in upcoming years. I’m eagerly waiting for your valuable suggestions.
Vijay Kumar
Dear Vijay Kumar
I am not a career counsellor and so will not be able to give you any inputs on which course is good, how long it will take, and what are the prospects after it. I do, however, feel that after spending six years doing CA, if you want to change your field to engineering now, you will have to start from the very beginning, and you must be comfortable with the fact that all your colleagues and class mates will be 6 years younger than you. Both these situations can be very challenging, unless you are prepared for them. Also, how have you ascertained that your interest is actually computer science engineering, and how are you going to overcome the hurdles that field will throw up. I am not even sure you can go down that path with a Commerce background.
Given that you are in the last mile of your CA, you may want to persist and at least finish that before going another path. All your options will still be open after you finish that. Finishing it will give you a sense of satisfaction that you have not wasted six years in terms of qualifications.
Before changing, it may be wise for you to spend some time on self-reflection and understanding yourself better – what are your strengths and weaknesses, what are the opportunities available to you, and what are the roadblocks you may encounter? It is not that changing the line of study is a problem, but in your case you may need to do a cost-benefit analysis and see if you are better off spending that time studying engineering, or engaging in some entrepreneurial activities. There are many success stories of entrepreneurs who do not have degrees to back them.
Good luck!
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