Don't let the world define you - Ask our Counsellor Q&A Column

[The following column answered by me appeared in the Deccan Herald Education supplement of October 18, 2012]

Dear Madam,

I am doing my PUC. I scored 86.2 per cent in SSLC last year. I was confused about what I was going to take up in PU, and my sister suggested that I take up Science. Now I am worried about what to take up after PUC. I am having sleepless nights thinking about my future. Actually, I’m interested in many courses except engineering.

I’m interested in doing something different. The work which I do should give me happiness, it should be worth doing, and moreover I should feel proud about myself. My family supports me a lot. The problem with me is that I don’t like to sit in front of the computer for a very long time. I always dream about doing something creative. Actually I’m interested in MBBS, fashion designing, journalism, something related to agriculture,etc. Moreover, ours is a middle-class family where my parents can’t afford a large amount of money only for my studies. Also, students like me lack the information about various courses which have a very good scope.

After reading the article published in Deccan Herald on September 27, 2012, I felt like you are the one with whom I can share my problem and even ask for some solutions. So I, from the bottom of my heart, request you to give me some ideas for my future. Please advise me. I’ll be looking forward for your reply.

Priya

Dear Priya

I think your question is best answered by a career counsellor who can assess your strengths and interests and help you choose a career that you will enjoy. All I can say is that you are in the fortunate position of having many choices, in terms of interests, to choose from. And since your choices are very diverse in terms of the training you need for them, you need to narrow down your selection. 

I suggest you do an exercise for yourself. On a sheet of paper write down all your career choices. Then for each of those choices, analyse for yourself (or get the help of others in your family who seem to be very supportive of you) what your strengths are that will assist you in that line; what are your weaknesses that may hinder your progress; what are the opportunities available in that field, as you see them now; what are the costs involved in each of those options vs. what is the typical earning potential; what are among the best institutes to train for each of those options and what do you need to get admission into them; and, what do you feel is the future potential for that field. Once you do this exercise for each of the options you are considering, you may be able to narrow down your choices by realizing that either you are not a good fit, or the opportunities are not great, or that you don’t really have the special skills required to excel in that field. 

Apart from this exercise, you said that the work you do should give you happiness, it should be worthwhile, and it should make you feel proud. All these things are within your control. It is not the ‘work’ that will give you all these — it is your interpretation of how worthwhile you find the work, that will give you happiness and make you feel proud. That is not for the world to decide, but for you to decide for yourself. What worth you bring to the profession is something you must define for yourself. Don’t let the world define you. So, in continuation of the above exercise, you must also think about and write down what gives you happiness, and what about yourself makes you proud. 

How will you know that the work you do is worthwhile. What external signals will give you that information?

You said your fear about what you will do in future is preventing you from sleeping these days. What is your worst fear? Think about it. Sometimes fear is such an ambiguous amorphous thing that if we don’t define it for ourselves, it can take over your whole life. So what are you scared of? What is your worst fear, in case you make the wrong career choice, or the choice ends up not being that satisfying after all? Yes, some choices may be better than others, but every choice will eventually depend on what you make of it. And, no choice needs to be final or fatal, in the eventuality that you discover it to be wrong.

Hope this helps. Good luck

Be clear about your goals - Ask our Counsellor Q&A column

[The following queries answered by me appeared in the Deccan Herald Education Supplement on September 29, 2011]

Dear Madam,
I have completed SSLC and I am very interested in writing horror and children’s stories. I also like to solve mental ability questions, and my IQ is good. Will these help me in my career, and to reach my goal? Can you suggest some exams or careers through which I can continue to write stories and solve mental ability exams? But my parents won’t support me, that's the problem.
Rashmi S

Dear Rashmi,
I think you need more clarity on what your career aspirations and goals are. Writing stories is a great talent. You can choose to make it your career, or you can choose to keep it as a passion that you indulge in for pleasure.

The choice is really yours. Having a high IQ, and being good at mental ability questions is also a great strength, but by itself it cannot get you to a goal, nor can it become a career. It can support you in whatever career you choose.

While it is good that you have been able to identify two of your strengths which are also things that you enjoy, it will be important for you to think deeper about what career choices will play to these strengths. I am sure that as you give it more thought, you will gain clarity on which path you should follow.

If your parents see clarity in your thought, and a passion to do what you are proposing, I am sure they will support you. I suspect their lack of support is because they don’t sense that clarity right now. However, even if they don’t support you, and you believe in it, then you must chase your dreams and let the others watch from the sidelines.

Dear Madam,
I am in PU II. My problem is that I don’t have a common goal in life i.e. sometimes I wish to become a doctor, and sometimes a mechanical or genetical engineer, and sometimes I wish to become a scientist or CA. Then again, I want to become an IAS or Army officer, or politician, etc. I even wish to join NASA. But my main aim is to bring my nation and parents name. Can you help me to come out of such a confusion. Please help me reach my goal.
Confused Girl

Dear Confused Girl,
You seem to have a lot of possible choices that you would like to pursue. It is time now for you to narrow down those choices. My suggestion is that you should connect with someone from each of these fields that you have mentioned, and spend some time talking to them about their work. That will give you a first hand account of those professions, and also give you clarity on what the jobs entail. This would then make the choice easier.

Your objective really should be to be successful (however, you define it) and bring about happiness for yourself. If in the process you make a name for yourself, then let that be the icing on the cake. Your objective should not be to make a name for your parents, or your country, but for yourself, because that is what you want. If you make it your life’s mission just to make others happy, then that is an elusive target, completely out of your control, which you may never achieve. Begin with what makes you happy, pursue that with passion, and I am sure you will get success. Your parents’ happiness will directly flow from this. Their happiness is not a goal you have to achieve. It is the fruit of your labour in the process of making a name for yourself.

Dear Madam,
I am now a II PU student. I know this is a turning point in my life. But, when I hear about the tsunamis, earthquakes and other natural calamities I think the world is going to end. Then I think I should not study. I spend nearly 10 hours in college and two hours at tuitions. I hardly get time for self reading. Can you help me manage my time in order to get a good rank and marks?
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous
I think it is important that you work through your fear of natural calamities, with the help of a counsellor. While it is important to be careful, one cannot live in fear, and that too, fear of something that no one has any control over.
So if this fear is hampering your normal functioning, I suggest you get some help.
If you are having a problem managing your time, then you should take stock of how your day is being spent. What are you doing and how productive is it? This is the time in your life where you need to prioritise your activities so as to be able to focus on your academics.

If you find that there is no time for self-study, then you may want to either reduce your tuition time, or cut out some of your other activities. Getting good marks is important, and helpful, but the most important thing is to learn what you are studying, and enjoy the process.