Be an independent learner first : Ask Our Counsellor - Q&A Column December 31, 2010

The following queries answered by me appeared in the Deccan Herald Education Supplement dt 31.12.10

Dear Madam,

I am in the ninth standard and I cannot perform well in class. I feel neglected by my maths teacher. She only takes time to explain formulas and techniques to those who study well. My doubts are never cleared. My mother shouts at me because I cannot improve my grades. What should I do? Please help

Radhika

Dear Radhika

You have written that you ‘cannot’ do well in class. I am not sure whether you meant to say ‘cannot’ or ‘do not’. If you say you ‘cannot’ do well, then it is like a self-fulfilling prophecy — since you believe you cannot do it, you never will be able to do it. On the other hand, if you say you ‘do not’ do well, then you need to believe in yourself and your ability to succeed in achieving goals. You could be in your current situation because of two possibilities.

*The first one is that the pressure you are facing at home is stressing you out, and your stress is not allowing you to focus on understanding what is happening in class. Your belief that you are not ‘good enough’ makes you feel neglected by the maths teacher, whom you say answers only ‘good’ students. You have to believe in yourself and believe that you are as worthy as any other student in getting your doubts clarified. That gives you the courage to raise doubts till they are resolved. Your anxiety about performance may also be hampering your ability to memorise the formulas that are needed. You need to be able to talk to your mother and explain the situation in school. You also need to work on getting the attention that you deserve from you teacher. The other possibility is that you are looking for explanations outside of yourself to counter the fact that you may not be making an honest effort. If you can tell yourself that you have done your best, honest effort, then I would say, don’t focus on results. It is the effort that is important and that will eventually pay off. Good luck.

Dear Madam,

I completed engineering in Electronics and Communication in 2009. I have not worked or studied since. I was not motivated or interested in studying further. But, after a year of doing nothing, I want to work and help my parents financially. How do I motivate myself? What should I do?

Gulshan

Dear Gulshan

I sense that you regret having wasted a year of your time and now you want to make amends. You also regret that this wasted year has made you lazy, frustrated and de-motivated.

You now seem to be ready to take on larger responsibilities in life, and that in itself will be a motivator. And, if this past year has made you learn that lesson, then you need not view it as entirely wasted. Try working with some simple short-term goals initially.

Success in achievement of those goals will motivate you to take on more challenging tasks in the long run. You may, however, like to explore why you feel that you have no motivation or interest in life. For this, talk to someone you can trust — a counsellor, friend, parent — who will help you explore these roadblocks. I think it is very important for you to recognise why and how you got to this state so that you can become aware of your patterns and avoid repeating them in future. All the best!

Dear Madam,

I am studying engineering at GIT College. I got 65% in II PUC and I am an average student. I used to be a top performer but now I feel like I have lost that ability to work hard or learn. Until Class 8, I had good scores. Now, my friends and teachers have to help me. How can I improve my scores and myself? Please help.

Anusha

Dear Anusha

It is not uncommon for children to do well in the early years of school and then to let performance taper off as the work load increases. When you say that you are now not able to study, you need to explore what that means.

Please ask yourself the following questions:

*Does it mean that you don’t understand what is being taught? Or, does it mean that you are not putting in enough effort in studying because you are distracted by other things?

I also don’t understand what you mean by the fact that your friends and teachers help you all the time.

*Are they doing your work for you or are they giving you concessions so that you can get by?

Both options are not conducive to an independent learner and the only person who can put a stop to that is, you. You need to learn to depend on yourself and believe in yourself and your ability to perform. Also, remember that eventual success in the workplace is not a function of mere marks. It is also (and probably more so) dependent on your confidence, communication skills, on-the-job skills, your ability to think out-of-the-box, team player skills, and the ability to lead a team, among a host of other skills which do not get reflected in your marks.