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Sunday 9 October 2011

Be clear about your goals - Ask our Counsellor Q&A column

[The following queries answered by me appeared in the Deccan Herald Education Supplement on September 29, 2011]

Dear Madam,
I have completed SSLC and I am very interested in writing horror and children’s stories. I also like to solve mental ability questions, and my IQ is good. Will these help me in my career, and to reach my goal? Can you suggest some exams or careers through which I can continue to write stories and solve mental ability exams? But my parents won’t support me, that's the problem.
Rashmi S

Dear Rashmi,
I think you need more clarity on what your career aspirations and goals are. Writing stories is a great talent. You can choose to make it your career, or you can choose to keep it as a passion that you indulge in for pleasure.

The choice is really yours. Having a high IQ, and being good at mental ability questions is also a great strength, but by itself it cannot get you to a goal, nor can it become a career. It can support you in whatever career you choose.

While it is good that you have been able to identify two of your strengths which are also things that you enjoy, it will be important for you to think deeper about what career choices will play to these strengths. I am sure that as you give it more thought, you will gain clarity on which path you should follow.

If your parents see clarity in your thought, and a passion to do what you are proposing, I am sure they will support you. I suspect their lack of support is because they don’t sense that clarity right now. However, even if they don’t support you, and you believe in it, then you must chase your dreams and let the others watch from the sidelines.

Dear Madam,
I am in PU II. My problem is that I don’t have a common goal in life i.e. sometimes I wish to become a doctor, and sometimes a mechanical or genetical engineer, and sometimes I wish to become a scientist or CA. Then again, I want to become an IAS or Army officer, or politician, etc. I even wish to join NASA. But my main aim is to bring my nation and parents name. Can you help me to come out of such a confusion. Please help me reach my goal.
Confused Girl

Dear Confused Girl,
You seem to have a lot of possible choices that you would like to pursue. It is time now for you to narrow down those choices. My suggestion is that you should connect with someone from each of these fields that you have mentioned, and spend some time talking to them about their work. That will give you a first hand account of those professions, and also give you clarity on what the jobs entail. This would then make the choice easier.

Your objective really should be to be successful (however, you define it) and bring about happiness for yourself. If in the process you make a name for yourself, then let that be the icing on the cake. Your objective should not be to make a name for your parents, or your country, but for yourself, because that is what you want. If you make it your life’s mission just to make others happy, then that is an elusive target, completely out of your control, which you may never achieve. Begin with what makes you happy, pursue that with passion, and I am sure you will get success. Your parents’ happiness will directly flow from this. Their happiness is not a goal you have to achieve. It is the fruit of your labour in the process of making a name for yourself.

Dear Madam,
I am now a II PU student. I know this is a turning point in my life. But, when I hear about the tsunamis, earthquakes and other natural calamities I think the world is going to end. Then I think I should not study. I spend nearly 10 hours in college and two hours at tuitions. I hardly get time for self reading. Can you help me manage my time in order to get a good rank and marks?
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous
I think it is important that you work through your fear of natural calamities, with the help of a counsellor. While it is important to be careful, one cannot live in fear, and that too, fear of something that no one has any control over.
So if this fear is hampering your normal functioning, I suggest you get some help.
If you are having a problem managing your time, then you should take stock of how your day is being spent. What are you doing and how productive is it? This is the time in your life where you need to prioritise your activities so as to be able to focus on your academics.

If you find that there is no time for self-study, then you may want to either reduce your tuition time, or cut out some of your other activities. Getting good marks is important, and helpful, but the most important thing is to learn what you are studying, and enjoy the process.

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