[The following queries answered by me appeared in Deccan Herald dt October 20, 2011]
Dear Madam,
I am a Class 9 student. There were many programmes conducted in our school to choose a career. I am scared to choose a field as I doubt my abilities to succeed. I am good with Math when it comes to classroom exercises but I don’t perform well with competitive exams like NISE, NSTSE, UCO. I want to be an optimistic person. Please help.
Abhishek
Dear Abhishek,
You are at the stage in life where you are beginning to realise the responsibilities of growing up and making it on your own. However, it is important that you make a career out of something that you enjoy and are passionate about it. This will ensure that you have fun along the way. And, in the process, if you are also successful, that is a bonus. It is extremely important that you be able to define success for yourself. How will you know that you have been successful (whether as a lawyer, or as a doctor, or as any other professional)? It is important that you know what ‘being successful’ means to you. If you don’t have your own definition, then society and others around you will define it for you, and you may end up chasing an ever-moving target. Also, what success means to you, maybe completely different from what success means to someone else. For someone, it may mean owning a large house. For someone else, it may mean being able to afford a foreign trip every year. For yet another person, it may mean treating the weak back to health, irrespective of how much money you make. And for another it may mean having a happy family life. So what does success mean for you? Define that, and then chase after that target.
Also, don’t be fearful of failure, because failure is but another stepping stone to success. The important thing is to be able to treat any failure as a mere roadblock, or obstacle, that you can work around and overcome. Remember, no success is final, and failure is fatal. Life is merely a journey, and success and failure are merely sign-posts on the way.
The reason you may be good at Math in school but not in competitive exams is because in school you are operating within your comfort zone. You may be memorising questions, without actually learning the principles involved. Focus on learning, rather than on the marks. The marks will follow, once the learning happens.
Dear Madam,
I have completed an MSc in Biochemistry with 59.05 per cent marks. I want to go in for higher studies but I lack the confidence to follow my dreams. My scores in Class 10 and 12 were rather low.
Is it possible to continue in this field? I want to get into research.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
While marks are important in opening some doors, they are not the only thing that will determine success. What the work place needs today, more than marks, is self-esteem — which is your ability to love yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses. Self-esteem drives your self-confidence, your self-belief, your ability to communicate, your ability to think out-of-the-box, your inter-personal relationships, your creativity, and a whole lot of other parameters of success. What worries me is not your marks, but your lack of confidence in yourself. If you have the confidence, but not the marks, you can still make a mark. However, if you have the marks, but no confidence in your abilities, then the chances of succeeding are bleaker. I think you need to look at the reasons for your lack of confidence and take the help of a counsellor, or a trusted adult, to help you build it.
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