Dear Madam,
I am pursuing engineering in computer science and engineering. I always wanted to become a software engineer. I was supposed to be in 6th semester now but got detained in 5 subjects. I have cleared 4 subjects and have 1 remaining subject which I'll clear. I was a very good student and I'm good, but after I got detained I'm loosing my confidence. I want to get a distinction in the remaining semester and get into some good companies. I want to ask you whether I will I get a good job after getting detained.
A student
Dear Student
You may have failed in a few exams but you are not a failure. Remember failure is always an event, not a person. Failure is a learning opportunity - an opportunity to learn from your mistakes and grow from that learning. Failure is not the end of the road. There is life after a failure. It is a mere bump or speed breaker, and once you cross it you can zip down the path of life again. So don’t let your failure define you. You define what the failure will mean to you.
If you are able to position the failure as something that gave you essential life lessons which you have learned, then no one will define you in terms of that failure. How you position your failure is your choice. It is up to you, and it is within your control.
Good luck
Dear Madam
I am a 25 year old mechanical engineer. I completed my engineering this year with lots of supplementary exams. I managed to clear all the subjects. Now my score is only 56%. I almost took 6 years to complete engineering. My friends say that I should take up a job and start working. I don’t think any company will take me with this score. I wanted to write the UPSC exam, but every one says I cannot do it. I really want to show them I can. I am ready to study day and night leaving aside all sorts of materialistic life. Please guide me whether my decision is right or wrong. My 10th score is 69% and PUC 2nd yr is only 45%. If there are any exams which can tell me what I’m really good at please tell me.
A student
Dear student,
You could meet with a career counselor who would help you arrive at career options and paths that would match your interests and aptitude. However, I am sure you can achieve anything that you set your mind to. However do it for the right reasons. If you want to appear for the UPSC examination, by all means go ahead. The fact that you have struggled with exams in the past is no guarantee that you will struggle in the future as well. The subjects for UPSC exams will be different from those of your engineering. But do the exam because you want to do it, not because you want to prove yourself to everyone else who said you can’t do it. The only person you need to prove yourself to is yourself. So if you want to take the exam, go ahead and give it your best shot.
As for having no ambition left, visualize your life when you have a goal that you are working towards. And, then visualize one in which you are aimless, goal-less and passion-less. The difference will be so stark that making your choice will not be difficult.
Remember, your life is in your control. You can choose to be its master and make it work for you; or you can choose to be its slave and let it drag you along wherever it wants.
All the best
Dear Madam,
I am a student of Class X and shall be completing the same this year. I hope to secure above 90% of marks as I have done well in the previous years. I want to study arts in future, not because I do not like Science but because I like Social studies. Many people say that there is no scope for arts now. But I want to pursue a career in law. Moreover, I learn both music and dance. I am learning Sanskrit too. I have got 96% in my exams. I am confused, since my parents do not want me to do law. Please help me.
Mahima Harish
Dear Mahima
You seem to be in a secure place with respect to your marks and seem to have the privilege of having many options open to you because of that. I am glad you are choosing subjects based on what you like, and your interests. You can make a career in whichever field you want the difference between being good at it and being great at it, however, will depend on the passion you bring to the field. That’s why doing what you like is important. Try and understand why your parents don’t want you to do law, and why you do want to do it. It will be helpful to talk to them and understand their reservations, and your own motivations. Arrive at a decision after you have gained this understanding. They may have reasons you cannot understand at this age, and you may have a passion they were not aware of. Communication is the key. And, if after this, there is still a difference of opinion, I feel it is important to do what your heart lies in.
All the best
Dear Madam,
I am a student of 2nd PU (Science) studying in a reputed college. In the 1st year, I was good at studies. But after entering 2nd year I am loosing my concentration from the studies. As this is an important year of my life I want to do something but its just not happening. Please guide me in doing well for 2nd PU also.
Radhika N
Dear Radhika
You did not tell me anything about what is happening to you, and in your life, because of which you are losing concentration. We most often lose confidence because we are tensed or stressed, or because we are distracted by something else that is more interesting and occupying our mind. What do you think about when you are trying to study? What is occupying your mind? Is it worry and anxiety about doing well, or some other life event; or is it someone, or something, that is keeping you busy. Are you scared of failure, and are you thinking that this is the final chance in your life to prove yourself and therefore you are feeling stressed about this being the defining year of your life? Unless you tell me what it is I won’t be able to help you deal with it. Maybe you should think about it yourself and then talk about it to someone who can help you.
You could read more about dealing with issues like this on my blog at personalorbitchange.blogspot.com . Maybe you will find your answer there.
All the best
Dear Madam,
I am studying in Class IX in a CBSE school. The reason I am writing this is because I can’t zero in on what I should pursue next. I am inclined towards engineering, literature and also law. I am very keen to go abroad on a scholarship basis. But I cannot decide which course to take next. My parents are slightly pressurising me or in other words: my dad expects too much from me. Please help me.
A student
Dear Student
I think you should probably go in for some career counselling to help you match your interests and abilities with current opportunities available. It is important to choose a career which helps you achieve your potential and which you enjoy and are passionate about.
As for your parents’ expectations of you, all parents have expectations of their children. However, it is your responsibility to communicate to them how much is too much. Parents always want their children to achieve their potential. They feel that unless they communicate this, their children will slacken. If you are feeling pressured then you need to communicate this to them so that they can understand the effect it is having on you. Remember, your parents are on your side, cheering you on. They are not on the opposite side of the fence. You are not in this alone. They are there to help you. But receiving that help and encouragement is up to you.
All the best
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